Unspoken conversation I had in Trader Joe's a few days ago

Me: I need something dessert-y in the house.  Oooh!  Joe-Joe's! (TJ's version of Oreos)

Me: So, listen, box of Joe-Joe's, if I buy you, you'll stick around for awhile, right?  I don't want to just eat you all at once...

Box: Of course I'll stay around!  I want a meaningful, long-term relationship just as much as you do.

Me:  Do you promise?  I've been burned by other boxes of cookies before.

Box: I swear!  I'm not like the others!

Me: Oh, thank you, box of Joe-Joe's.  I'm so happy to hear that.

*Purchases Box of Joe-Joe's*
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(~24 hours later, after having just eaten the last cookie)

Me:  What happened, box of Joe-Joe's?  You said you wouldn't leave so fast.  You promised!!!

Box:  Quit your whining. You knew what this was...  (leaves without another word)



And he took most of my gallon of milk with him....