I've had this idea for a long time. I don't think I've ever written much about it publicly or comprehensively, so I'm going to try to flesh it out as much as possible here. Because I think it's a cool idea. (It's really more of a paradigm than a single idea. Hopefully I'll be able to explain it in a way that makes sense.)
Every day, we all suffer emotional injuries...think of them as little dents in your soul. Most of the time, the dents are very minor (e.g. your friend is in a bad mood and doesn't want to talk to you). Sometimes they're more serious (your boss yells at you and calls you incompetent in front of everyone at work.) And, rarely, the injuries are devastating (someone very close to you dies unexpectedly.) The more severe the event, the bigger the dent it makes in you.
As a natural process, these dents slowly mend themselves. As long as this natural healing repairs your soul faster than life can put new dents in it, you will eventually be okay. (Though you will never be perfectly okay, because life is damaging you constantly.) I think this applies to most people most of the time. (Or, as I like to call them, "normal" people.)
Personally, my soul's repair rate is slower than pouring molasses in January at the North Pole, and the lid is still on. Also, there's no molasses; it's just an empty jar. Which means I have a hard time keeping up with with all the dents life throws at me. For the first 20+ years of my life, I basically shut myself down emotionally, so nothing bad could get through. The down side of that is that nothing good could get through either. It was a good way to survive, but not a good way to live.
I think in my case, and probably a lot of other cases, depression is what kills the soul's power to heal itself--in the same way that HIV kills the body's power to heal itself. The nasty part about depression is how it feeds on itself. You don't want to go out and do anything, because life might put a few more dents in you, and you can't deal with the huge dents you already have. But self-esteem is all about getting out and doing things (even the most mundane things) and feeling like you accomplished something. And I think self-esteem is very much linked to how well your soul can heal itself.
But there is, I believe, a much more powerful form of healing out there (This is where I get to my actual idea....)
I think, metaphorically speaking, every bit of the universe is filled with an incredible healing energy. But you can't access it by yourself; you need to be touching another person to complete the circuit that lets the energy flow. And the amount of energy you get varies hugely, depending on the circumstances. Here's a brief summary, in equational (which is a word I may have just made up) form:
Healing Energy = [Perceived Level of Closeness With Other Person] x [Degree of Contact]
Now, let me explain what that all means. Degree of Contact is fairly straightforward--it means the amount of physical body connection you are making with the other person (i.e. handshake vs. polite hug vs. extreme cuddling.)
Perceived Level of Closeness is entirely subjective and depends on how you feel about the person at the time. Hugging your spouse gives more energy than hugging your best friend, which still gives more energy than hugging a stranger you just met a party.
But remember that it's all subjective and based on how you feel at the time. If you just had a fight with your spouse and are furious with them, and they try to hug you, you want no part of it. That contact is not going to bring any healing energy, and may well hit you with negative energy. (See below).
The energy works both ways, which means if your PLC with the other person is negative, then their touching you will actually create negative energy that hurts, rather than heals you (e.g. a stranger groping you on the bus.)
The bottom line is that people who get a lot of positive physical contact are much better off than people who don't. Not that this is a striking revelation, but now you know why. :)
Stay tuned for Part 2, in which I apply this theory to my own life, and try to explain how I'm even still alive....
I really like this. - lael
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