I introverted quite a bit yesterday. Went to a semi-surprise birthday party for a friend of mine. The party itself wasn't huge (15-ish people maybe), but half of them were people I didn't know at all, and the other half were either people I didn't really want to talk to and/or people who were busy doing party things. All I can say is Thank You God for iphones.
My back is still hurting, and I haven't been able to trace it to any specific thing. I've been sleeping on the air mattress instead of my old bed mattress that I thought was the problem. I think that's helping, but it hasn't fixed the problem. Ironically, I now think the problem might be the yoga ball I normally sit on when I'm at my computer. After I started sleeping on the air mattress, I noticed that my back hurt more when I got up from sitting at the computer for a long time. Now part of that might just have been that I was sitting for too long. But my back was much better when I was down in WPB, and I sat at the computer quite a bit down there, too. The two differences between there and here are the bed and the yoga ball. So, I'm currently using a regular chair with a pillow for support at my computer. I'm hoping that what happened is that I came back, slept in the old bed for a couple nights, and that's what messed up my back. And any pain I've had since then is just residual from that, and hopefully my back will heal up and everything will be fine. Hopefully.
Oh, and something that's semi-exciting (to me, anyway): One of the foster bunnies I have chewed through the plug on my router AND my air mattress. (Fortunately, the air mattress is staying inflated and I haven't needed to plug it in.) I initially resigned myself to just replacing everything, but then I looked around the internet machine to see how complicated it would be to repair the plugs myself. It turns out to really not be that bad. I just need to do some soldering and wrap everything in electrical tape, and it should work. Theoretically. I picked up the stuff I needed from Lowe's, and I've been watching youtube tutorials on soldering. I think tomorrow I'm going to actually try it out.
OFF-TOPIC TANGENT: I think for some people, including me, Father's Day is basically another Valentine's Day. i.e. A day set aside to remind you that no one loves you--or, in the case of Father's Day, that no woman ever wanted to breed with you. I remember sometime around my early 30's, I realized that I was pretty screwed up, and it was going to take me awhile to get myself straightened out. At the time, I made the decision that I would probably like to have a kid eventually; but if it took me too long to get myself together and I missed out on the chance, that would be okay. The past few years though, I keep seeing all these people at church with their adorable children, and I really want one of my own. I generally have the maturity level of a child, so I'd get along really well with one. I also feel like I'm still far from where I want to be, in terms of being not screwed up; but I'm a lot farther along than I used to be. To put it another way, I'm not completely straightened out yet, but I'm straightened out enough to be in a relationship and have a kid. Except, of course, I still have the problem that no woman wants to breed with me.
This is not a new problem, of course. But when I think about it, there are really only two possible things that could be the problem:
1. I have nothing to offer anyone.
2. I have a lot to offer, but all of that is outweighed by whatever huge, glaring flaws I have.
Anyway, I just hope my back feels better soon, because it's throwing me totally off my game. I don't go out and exercise, I don't sit down to write, I have literally 10 days worth of unread newspapers because I don't sit down to read them. And it's not that the back pain is that bad--I could still do all those things with little to no discomfort. But it makes everything just feel....not right. That's the best way I can describe it. It's a little like having a head cold--maybe you feel kinda bad, but not AWFUL--but you can't breathe normally, and that one simple thing is all you can think about and it's messing up everything else.
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